Tag: affordable counseling

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What Are The Differences Between Romance and Relationship?

Romance and Relationship

The magic phrase ‘romantic relationship’ is quite popular, but I feel that the two notions are two different phenomena. Now imagine, like an expert Sushi chef, if you take the tiniest slice out of a huge chunk of a ‘romantic relationship’, then you should get an exact quantity of ‘romance’. So the question is – what’s the difference between ‘meaningful romance’ and ‘meaningful relationship’? 

Well, you can share that tiny piece of romance with many (however, eventually the entire chunk would be finished in that process, at least logic says so). On the contrary, if you plan to maintain a ‘meaningful relationship’ then you should share that entire chunk with one person only. I know that the entire introduction was quite confusing, but I hope the rest of this blog will be able to clear my point.

Before I continue, I would like to mention that this piece is my personal opinion, on the basis of my observation and that this is not a thesis. Any person can go through all these experiences irrespective of their age, race, sex, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, etc. I am writing on the basis of my personal experiences; experiences, I have accumulated as a real living and breathing human being in the course of my social studies and later with hands on experience.  

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and they may feel “a person can have multiple meaningful romantic relationships with multiple partners”, and that doesn’t necessarily make one ‘romance-phobic’. This article is about those confused people who often ask themselves ‘is that a relationship or not’? Here are 7 signs that you are in a ‘meaningful romance’ and not in a ‘meaningful relationship’

You Both Are Not On The Same Page Of Life:

I am not talking about the ‘pace’, here I am talking about ‘page’. Professionally, you might both be polar opposites; one of you may be more successful than the other; but, what about your personal lives? 

To be more precise, say one partner is running from pillar to post all alone to arrange money and other necessary resources in order to fix a personal crisis (e.g health). Meanwhile, the other partner is enjoying life with family and friends. Although that person is sending romantic texts frequently (probably out of guilt or just as a formality), would you call it a ‘meaningful relationship’?

Popular media always trying hard to feed us a myth and that is “opposite attracts each other”; whereas, the truth is “opposite never attracts each other”! For instance, if both of you fundamentally lives pole apart then nothing on this planet can bring you closer.

Under such circumstances, you should never indulge in such hallucinations; because, despite your best effort believe me, it is definitely a ‘meaningful romance’, since ‘meaningful relation’ implies ‘in sickness and in health’.

You Are Only Remembered Seasonally:

Yes, it’s another vital red flag. Never ignore the scenario when your partner only remembers you seasonally. It could be birthday, Valentine’s Day, anniversary (e.g. anniversary of your first meeting, the first hug, the first kiss, the first time you made love, etc.). On these occasions, both of you would see each other, exchange gifts, shower lots of affection and attention for some time, and once the season is over, you would find yourself all alone in your own world, and your partners would be busy in their lives. Well, if you are experiencing something like that then you are in a ‘meaningful romance’ since a ‘meaningful relationship’ is not a celebration of seasonal festivities.

You Are Not Prioritized:

I can remember one man who went to Sikkim to see the mesmerizing orchids blooming, while his wife was giving birth to their only child. Now, that man had two choices but he made the decision according to his priorities. I know, that was a slightly cruel example. However, think practically, as human beings, we have very limited abilities, we just can’t be at two places at the same time. Therefore, you should observe whether you get first priority in your partner’s life.

Does your partner manage to spend time with you on some ‘not so special occasions’ or does his or her schedule get in the way?

Basically, it’s very important to know how much you mean to your partner. If you are prioritized only according to your partner’s convenience then you are definitely in a ‘meaningful romance’, since a ‘meaningful relationship’ is never about one’s own convenience.

You Are Not 'Fulfilling' The Basic Conditions:

Yes! When your love is not unconditional then it’s romance. A common condition that I have heard is –“I love traveling and I am looking for someone who would travel with me”. It may sound weird but it’s true. However, my question is – “Would you choose your partner on the basis of ‘common hobbies’ or on the basis of ‘common values’?” Therefore, if you are listening to the same complaint constantly, that you could not fulfill the basic conditions, then you are in a ‘meaningful romance’.

You Prefer To Avoid Your Partner:

You are lonely, but despite that loneliness, you prefer avoiding your partner; because, in your life, now your partner’s presence is nothing but empty noise. You don’t enjoy his or her company the way you used to. Somehow you have realized you are nothing but an accessory for your partner. At that position, you can assure yourself that you are in a ‘meaningful romance’ and not in a ‘meaningful relationship’.

You Have Stopped Fighting For The Relationship:

We don’t fight to break our relationships, in fact, often we fight to save them. We shout because we want to be heard, we crave for minimum attention. However, when you stop fighting and slowly start praying for a ‘natural end’ to that relationship then finally, congratulations! This time you were in a ‘meaningful romance’ and not in a ‘meaningful relationship’. You have reached that point where you are desperately seeking an ‘amicable evaporation’ of the entire façade. Perhaps you are taking one of the most sensible decisions of your life and trust me, that decision would leave a very positive impact on your life.

I don’t know whether I missed something or not? I would love to hear your opinions too. If you feel you can relate to that article to some extent then I would recommend please like, comment, and share that article. Smiling Rainbow platform belongs to the LGBTQ community and my sincere urge to all of you please endorse the platform and give your valuable suggestions. 

We consider economical independence as an important target that every member of our community should achieve. Therefore, we are in the process of launching to another platform as Remote Owls. The purpose of that platform is creating freelancing opportunities for our community members. We will keep you posted regarding the progress of these two platforms.

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1 Lesbian Marriage & 10 Most Common Homophobic Questions (with Answers)

Lesbian Marriage

How often do you go online to see a real-life lesbian marriage? How often do you search online for the presence of the LGBTQ community? How often do you notice homophobia in your day-to-day life? How often do you encounter homophobic questions in your day-to-day life? Actually, all these questions started hitting my mind very recently when I was watching a lesbian marriage video on YouTube. That was a viral video where two young Bengali women were getting married following Bengali rituals and customs. 

Now, I have a bad habit and that is browsing through the comment section of every video I watch on YouTube. And, as we all know, old habits die hard. Therefore, I could not resist checking out the comments on this video. In my observations, along with best wishes, I saw that many YouTube users had made homophobic remarks—more precisely I noticed numerous ‘homophobic questions’ on their lesbian marriage life. As I scrolled through I was able to detect the 10 most common homophobic questions among those comments, and I’ve decided to answer all of them by myself.

1. “What kind of future a girl can have with another girl or a man with another man?”

Ans. The exact similar kind of future, with the similar pros and cons, that a man can have with ‘another woman’ or a woman can have with ‘another man’. Nothing unique about it. A lesbian married life is not going to be unique by any means. They are going to have their own ups and downs and that would not be unique by any means.

2. “What would they ‘do’ together?”

Ans. The intention of that question is extremely demeaning, and should not be directed to any person! I am not going to stoop that low. I just have one sentence for the people asking this question, and that is “That’s none of your business”.

3. “Can they have kids?”

Ans. Even every heterosexual couple on this planet can’t be guaranteed that they will have kids! Since, heterosexuality is not the only condition for having a child.

In my life, I have seen many childless heterosexual couples and they are living happily. For many couples, it was a part of their well-thought-out future plan to not have a child and living lives on their own terms. On the contrary, in this modern era, if a same-sex couple wants to have kids, they can have it by many ways (thanks to science). Modern science is developing many ways to give child to the childless couples irrespective of their sexual orientation. 

Having children is a very personal decision that only the concerned couple should take by themselves without any interference from society. I actually believe this rule is applicable to every couple irrespective of their sexual orientation. Unfortunately, our society can’t help poking their noses into the lives of even heterosexual couples, which is extremely rude.

4. “Would society accept them?”

Ans. I am sure society is changing pretty fast and one day they will change their mindset towards homosexuality as well. That change might not come in one year or 10 years. But, gradually, it will come.

5. “Don’t you think it’s against our culture and religion?”

Ans. It was one of the most common questions of that lesbian marriage. Are you talking about Hinduism? Multiple prominent ancient Hindu texts like the Kama Sutra and Padma Purana, among others, mention the presence of homosexuality in society. In Hinduism, there was, traditionally and historically, a certain level of tolerance for homosexuality and it never denied the existence of ‘sexual minorities’ (as we call them today) in Indian society.

However, issue presently there are 4000+ known religions on this planet and thousands of unrecognized religions as well. Therefore, drawing conclusions via the route of religion would be a disastrous slippery slope.

On the other hand, let alone humans, homosexuality is common in many non-human species as well and scientists are finding new pieces of evidence even in modern days. That means homosexuality is a part of nature. If it’s a part of nature then we possibly can’t deny the fact that it is also a part of the culture. It has been right from the beginning.

6. “If everyone becomes homosexuals then who would procreate and what will be our future as species?”

Ans. Everyone isn’t going to become “a homosexual”. Throughout the history of humankind, there have been gay people and straight people. So, unless a gay zombie virus attacks the human race and changes everyone’s sexual orientation overnight, there’s nothing to worry about.

7. “Are we going to face ‘Qayamat’ (apocalypse) in near future?”

Ans. No, we are not. The union of two consenting adults is never going to bring ‘Qayamat’. Look around you, if war, rape, genocide, corruption, violence against women and children, the mass destruction of flora and fauna are not bringing ‘Qayamat‘ then gay marriage or lesbian marriage would also not going to bring apocalypse.

8. “Don’t you think that, it is a modern mental health crisis?”

Ans. In December 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses in the DSM-III. It’s not a mental health issue and that is a scientifically proven fact.

9. “If a girl can have sex with another girl then why not with an animal?”

Ans. Homosexuality and beastiality are two absolutely different things. Any sexual act is normal as long as it’s happening between two consenting adults. As far as I know, we can’t understand the language animals speak, hence it’s not possible to obtain their consent. If a person goes after an animal with sexual intent, it’s animal abuse in the same way that sex without consent is consider as r@pe.

10. “Don’t you think that they can change their choice?”

Ans. Homosexuality is not a choice. Nobody chooses to be a homosexual just as nobody chooses to be heterosexual. People mentally wired to be the way they are, sexual orientation included. The harsh reality is with modern science you can change your complexion but can not change your sexual orientation.

In this article, I have tried to answer the 10 most intriguing questions I’ve seen online, and I am sure there are many more homophobic questions roaming out there waiting to be answered. Well, I’ll be ready to answer those questions as well. 

My request to you please read the article and if you think it’s worth discussing then please like, comment, and share the article among our community members. Meanwhile, you can also participate in various programs we have designed for the LGBTQ community on our platform.

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How To Get Rid of Homosexuality?

get-rid-of-homosexuality

How to get rid of homosexuality? Yes, I can understand, perhaps one of the most difficult things in this world is accepting your own sexual orientation. It’s more important when you’re not straight, and it’s significantly difficult when you live in a homophobic society.

Thanks to social media, the awareness level has increased by manifold within a very short span of time. However, the harsh reality is that as a society we are still homophobic, and making jokes about homosexuality is as common as it is considered acceptable in our society. Personally, I feel ashamed when I see my fellow social workers (who are extremely vocal about the movement in public) show the same level of insensitivity towards queers  in private. 

Under such circumstances, there are many who try to ‘get rid of homosexuality’ following ridiculous suggestions acquired from various sources; and, according to me, those are not as effective. However, the most effective methods that I am going to suggest to you all are tested methods. Therefore, you can test these methods by yourself. However, I am not going to give any assurance regarding the success probabilities of these methods.

1. "Just Pretend You Are Not A Homosexual!"

The very first thing you can do is “just pretend you are straight”. They want you to do this not only in front of others; you have to learn the critical art of pretending to yourself. 

Now, it might sounds like a very effective method; but, it’s really short-term process of fixing up an issue. Eventually, you are going to accept the real ‘YOU’ that lives inside you. After all how long someone can lie to themselves?

2. "Insult Homosexuals!"

One of my client was bullied by her female cousin in her early 20s when she was struggling with her own sexual orientation. Her cousin used to whisper in her ear “LESBIANNNN” to make her uncomfortable during different family reunions.

I asked her, “Why did you share your personal feelings with someone who is not a trustworthy person at all?”

Her reply baffled me. She said her cousin had opened up about her own attraction to her (my client) first and so my client felt comfortable enough to open up as well. Later this cousin got involved with a man and tied the knot. Post her marriage the cousin thought she had the right to mock my client because marriage had ‘cured’ her sexual orientation.

However, that method was also short-lived; because, after 10 years of marriage, her cousin suddenly wanted to rekindle their relationship. Suddenly she was pretty supportive of the entire LGBTQ+ community. Now, what was the reason for that sudden change? Well, my client’s cousin realized she could not lie to herself or her husband anymore about her true sexual orientation. Presently, she is carrying the coffin of their marriage all alone.

3. "Date Someone of the Opposite Sex!"

Yes, thanks to societal pressure, many people who are attracted to the same sex (including bisexual and pansexual people) do date people of the opposite sex just to avoid revealing the truth. 

Now, the most adverse reality of dating like this is you are involving another person in your own mess. Continue the charade, and you will either have to get married or break someone else’s heart. I don’t know which one is more ‘convenient’.

4. "You Need A Psychologist!"

A pseudo-modern society will ask you to attend regular counselling sessions just to “cure” yourself. Personally, I know someone who went to a psychologist in her early 20’s to ‘change her sexual orientation’ and she was paying ₹1500 for each session. That counsellor promised her he could and would change her sexual orientation. There were many sessions. And guess what? She is in a live-in relationship with another girl and both of them are doing pretty well. Now all she wants is a refund from that psychologist.

5. "Go Consult A Psychiatrist!"

I can remember at least two incidents where a few clients of mine were so determined to deny their sexual orientation that, they even consulted a psychiatrist for medication. Yes. they did this to themselves.

Luckily the psychiatrist sent them to a psychologist, and after proper counselling, they were able to accept the truth. Presently, they are living much more peaceful lives with their inner truth. Yes, with their inner truth!

Psychotherapy

6. "You'll Be Cured If You Get Married!"

The most convenient step to ‘get rid of homosexuality’, is getting married.  Since, after marriage, no one will bother about your homosexuality.

I am not against that option but if you have to marry, then maybe marrying someone within the queer community will at least assure your safety in the bedroom. Of course, it does not mean you are immune to social pressure. After marriage, the next pressure your family will put on you is children!

7. "Have Babies!"

Counselling

Recently, one of my clients informed me that she is planning for a baby. Exactly two years back, she got married under family pressure and that was a ‘Marriage of Convenience’. In popular culture we prefer to call it as MOC. 

For her own convenience she chose a gay bottom as her husband. According to her own consideration, since her would be husband is a gay man, therefore she is confident about her own ‘safety’. Back then in order to silence her family marrying a ‘bottom gay’ was the most convenient path for her (a top lesbian). 

However, now after two years of marriage, under social pressure, she is planning to have a baby. She is not alone. I have heard of many such scenarios where it seems ‘convenient’ for a while.

Once you have a baby, then homophobic society will say, “CONGRATULATIONS! Finally, you got rid of your homosexuality!”

Well, actually you’ll have to suppress your sexual orientation for the sake of your children at least for the next twenty-five years. You have to live this lie now many more years to come. This type of marriage of convenience in the LGBTQ community is a reality.

8. "Avoid Life!"

Sometimes family pressure can hit the roof, and then ‘home sweet home’ can turn into a metaphorical ‘gas chamber’.

I recall the story of two individuals who found an ingenious way to avoid the family crisis, and that is to roam the city till midnight, spending as little time as possible at home. Now, I am not sure whether you can change the status of your sexual orientation by following that way; but, I am sure you will definitely change the status of your health and safety. Sadly, you will be put in a situation where you have to choose which one is more important for you. Your life or this society?

I have seen many such community members who jumped into an ocean of all kinds of addictive substances just to ‘get rid of’ homosexuality. I don’t know either about the success ratio of that method as well, however, by following this method you’re sure to get rid of your life this way. No life, no tension of sexual orientation. No more question – “How to get rid of homosexuality?”

 

Recently a client of mine told me about a new drug that she has been taking. She introduced that drug to me as the ‘younger brother of Cocaine’. I was shocked and unable to comprehend this ‘escape route’.

The pressure to ‘be normal’ can become so much, and I have witnessed many such instances where queer people have, as a result, attempted to take their own lives. If you succeed in your attempt, then you shatter your near and dear ones. And if you don’t then you have to face everyone around you for the rest of your life. I don’t know which one is worse.

Our society can be so insensitive it can extract fun out of anyone’s misery. One woman I knew, attempted suicide by consuming phenyl. Overnight, people started to call her ‘Phenyl Aunty’. Yes, this is our society.

I am sure you have a fertile brain and you can come up with some more unique ideas. Therefore, I would urge you to come up with some ingenious ideas. If you feel that blog is worth reading then please like, share, and comment on the blog on the different social media platforms. 

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Power of Good Habits: Learn About The Best Antidepressant For Anxiety And Depression

Best-Antidepressant-For-Anxiety-Depression

Do you know the power of good habits? Learn about the best antidepressant for anxiety and depression. In the battle against anxiety and depression, finding effective strategies beyond medication and therapy can be transformative. Such potent weapons lies within our daily habits. From the way we move to the thoughts we nurture, these habits wield immense power in influencing our mental well-being. 

Let’s delve into the science-backed habits that act as natural and best antidepressants for anxiety and depression. For your convenience, we are offering relevant examples of our callers who have developed hope and resilience in the face of anxiety and depression by changing their lifestyles. Here we will be discussing about four best antidepressant for anxiety and depression.

Exercise:

Research from Harvard Medical School indicates that regular exercise is not only beneficial for physical health but also acts as a powerful mood booster. It is one of the best antidepressant for anxiety and depression. Studies have shown that exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, neurotransmitters that alleviate pain and enhance mood, leading to a reduction in symptoms of anxiety and depression. Exercise is not only about sculpting our bodies; it also has profound effects on our mental health. 

Beyond the release of endorphins, exercise promotes neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to adapt and rewire itself. Studies have shown that regular physical activity can increase the volume of certain brain regions involved in emotional regulation, such as the hippocampus. This neurogenesis may contribute to the antidepressant effects of exercise.

Many case studies have highlighted individuals who experienced significant improvements in their mental health by incorporating consistent exercise routines into their daily lives. One of our callers Sunanda (name changed), a busy corporate professional, in her mid-30s struggled with persistent anxiety. Upon incorporating regular exercise into her routine, she noticed a significant reduction in her symptoms. Not only did she feel more energized and focused, but she also experienced a newfound sense of calm and resilience in the face of stressors.

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Recent studies, including research published in JAMA Psychiatry, suggest that mindfulness-based interventions can be effective in reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. Practicing mindfulness and meditation helps individuals develop greater self-awareness and acceptance, fostering resilience in the face of stressors. 

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, offer powerful tools for managing anxiety and depression. By directing our attention to the present moment without judgment, mindfulness cultivates a state of heightened awareness and acceptance. Neuroimaging studies have revealed changes in mindfulness-related brain activity, including reduced activity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, and increased connectivity in regions linked to emotion regulation.

Many case studies demonstrate how regular mindfulness practice has enabled individuals to manage their anxiety and depression more effectively, leading to enhanced overall well-being. Mohit (name changed), in his early 30s, struggled with chronic depression, feeling overwhelmed by negative thoughts and emotions. Through consistent mindfulness practice, he learned to observe his thoughts without getting entangled. Over time, he noticed a gradual shift in his mindset, experiencing greater peace and contentment in his daily life.

Adequate Sleep:

The National Sleep Foundation reports that insufficient sleep is closely linked to an increased risk of developing anxiety and depression. New research findings emphasize the importance of maintaining a consistent sleep schedule and prioritizing quality sleep for mental well-being. 

Sleep plays a crucial role in regulating our mood and emotional well-being. During sleep, the brain processes emotions and consolidates memories, essential functions for mental health. Disrupted sleep patterns, such as insomnia or poor sleep quality, have been linked to an increased risk of anxiety and depression. Prioritizing sleep hygiene practices, such as maintaining a consistent sleep schedule and creating a relaxing bedtime routine, is vital for promoting restorative sleep.

Many case studies illustrate how improving sleep hygiene and prioritizing adequate rest have led to significant improvements in mood and overall mental health. Joy (name changed), in his early 30s, struggled with insomnia for years, which exacerbated his symptoms of depression. By implementing sleep hygiene strategies recommended by his therapist, such as limiting screen time before bed and creating a comfortable sleep environment. After following all the suggestions by our experts Joy experienced significant improvements in his sleep quality and overall mood.

Social Connection:

Studies show that social isolation and loneliness can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression, while strong social connections offer a protective effect. Engaging in meaningful social interactions, whether in person or virtually, can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of loneliness. Human beings are inherently social creatures, wired for connection and belonging. 

Strong social connections provide a buffer against stress and adversity, fostering resilience in the face of challenges. Studies have shown that social support can reduce cortisol levels, the body’s stress hormone, and promote the release of oxytocin, the “love hormone” associated with bonding and trust. Whether through spending time with loved ones, participating in group activities, or seeking support from online communities, nurturing meaningful relationships is essential for mental well-being.

Many case studies highlight the transformative impact of nurturing supportive relationships and building strong social networks in overcoming anxiety and depression. Monami (name changed), in his early 30s, felt isolated and alone after relocating to a new city. Through joining interesting meetup groups and reaching out to like-minded individuals online, she gradually built a supportive network of friends who shared her interests and values. These connections provided her with a sense of belonging and companionship, alleviating feelings of loneliness and bolstering her resilience against anxiety and depression.

It was the four best antidepressant for the anxiety and depressant. By incorporating these practices into our lives, we tap into their therapeutic benefits to alleviate anxiety and depression symptoms, fostering our overall wellness. From exercise’s profound impact on brain function to mindfulness’s transformative effects and sleep’s restorative abilities, each habit provides a pathway to resilience and rejuvenation. Let’s acknowledge that even small changes can lead to significant improvements in mental health, guiding us toward a more fulfilling future, supplemented by attending affordable online counseling sessions.

As we navigate the intricate landscapes of anxiety and depression, integrating these habits into our daily routines emerges as powerful aids in our pursuit of mental well-being. From the simple act of physical movement to the cultivation of mindfulness, each habit possesses the potential to elevate our spirits and offer comfort amidst life’s challenges. Embrace these habits as natural complements to seeking help from mental health counselors and psychiatrists, lighting the way toward a brighter tomorrow.