How often do you go online to see a real-life lesbian marriage? How often do you search online for the presence of the LGBTQ community? How often do you notice homophobia in your day-to-day life? How often do you encounter homophobic questions in your day-to-day life? Actually, all these questions started hitting my mind very recently when I was watching a lesbian marriage video on YouTube. That was a viral video where two young Bengali women were getting married following Bengali rituals and customs.
Now, I have a bad habit and that is browsing through the comment section of every video I watch on YouTube. And, as we all know, old habits die hard. Therefore, I could not resist checking out the comments on this video. In my observations, along with best wishes, I saw that many YouTube users had made homophobic remarks—more precisely I noticed numerous ‘homophobic questions’ on their lesbian marriage life. As I scrolled through I was able to detect the 10 most common homophobic questions among those comments, and I’ve decided to answer all of them by myself.
1. “What kind of future a girl can have with another girl or a man with another man?”
Ans. The exact similar kind of future, with the similar pros and cons, that a man can have with ‘another woman’ or a woman can have with ‘another man’. Nothing unique about it. A lesbian married life is not going to be unique by any means. They are going to have their own ups and downs and that would not be unique by any means.
2. “What would they ‘do’ together?”
Ans. The intention of that question is extremely demeaning, and should not be directed to any person! I am not going to stoop that low. I just have one sentence for the people asking this question, and that is “That’s none of your business”.
3. “Can they have kids?”
Ans. Even every heterosexual couple on this planet can’t be guaranteed that they will have kids! Since, heterosexuality is not the only condition for having a child.
In my life, I have seen many childless heterosexual couples and they are living happily. For many couples, it was a part of their well-thought-out future plan to not have a child and living lives on their own terms. On the contrary, in this modern era, if a same-sex couple wants to have kids, they can have it by many ways (thanks to science). Modern science is developing many ways to give child to the childless couples irrespective of their sexual orientation.
Having children is a very personal decision that only the concerned couple should take by themselves without any interference from society. I actually believe this rule is applicable to every couple irrespective of their sexual orientation. Unfortunately, our society can’t help poking their noses into the lives of even heterosexual couples, which is extremely rude.
4. “Would society accept them?”
Ans. I am sure society is changing pretty fast and one day they will change their mindset towards homosexuality as well. That change might not come in one year or 10 years. But, gradually, it will come.
5. “Don’t you think it’s against our culture and religion?”
Ans. It was one of the most common questions of that lesbian marriage. Are you talking about Hinduism? Multiple prominent ancient Hindu texts like the Kama Sutra and Padma Purana, among others, mention the presence of homosexuality in society. In Hinduism, there was, traditionally and historically, a certain level of tolerance for homosexuality and it never denied the existence of ‘sexual minorities’ (as we call them today) in Indian society.
However, issue presently there are 4000+ known religions on this planet and thousands of unrecognized religions as well. Therefore, drawing conclusions via the route of religion would be a disastrous slippery slope.
On the other hand, let alone humans, homosexuality is common in many non-human species as well and scientists are finding new pieces of evidence even in modern days. That means homosexuality is a part of nature. If it’s a part of nature then we possibly can’t deny the fact that it is also a part of the culture. It has been right from the beginning.
6. “If everyone becomes homosexuals then who would procreate and what will be our future as species?”
Ans. Everyone isn’t going to become “a homosexual”. Throughout the history of humankind, there have been gay people and straight people. So, unless a gay zombie virus attacks the human race and changes everyone’s sexual orientation overnight, there’s nothing to worry about.
7. “Are we going to face ‘Qayamat’ (apocalypse) in near future?”
Ans. No, we are not. The union of two consenting adults is never going to bring ‘Qayamat’. Look around you, if war, rape, genocide, corruption, violence against women and children, the mass destruction of flora and fauna are not bringing ‘Qayamat‘ then gay marriage or lesbian marriage would also not going to bring apocalypse.
8. “Don’t you think that, it is a modern mental health crisis?”
Ans. In December 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses in the DSM-III. It’s not a mental health issue and that is a scientifically proven fact.
9. “If a girl can have sex with another girl then why not with an animal?”
Ans. Homosexuality and beastiality are two absolutely different things. Any sexual act is normal as long as it’s happening between two consenting adults. As far as I know, we can’t understand the language animals speak, hence it’s not possible to obtain their consent. If a person goes after an animal with sexual intent, it’s animal abuse in the same way that sex without consent is consider as r@pe.
10. “Don’t you think that they can change their choice?”
Ans. Homosexuality is not a choice. Nobody chooses to be a homosexual just as nobody chooses to be heterosexual. People mentally wired to be the way they are, sexual orientation included. The harsh reality is with modern science you can change your complexion but can not change your sexual orientation.
In this article, I have tried to answer the 10 most intriguing questions I’ve seen online, and I am sure there are many more homophobic questions roaming out there waiting to be answered. Well, I’ll be ready to answer those questions as well.
My request to you please read the article and if you think it’s worth discussing then please like, comment, and share the article among our community members. Meanwhile, you can also participate in various programs we have designed for the LGBTQ community on our platform.
