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How Do I Get My Ex Back After A Messy Breakup?

How Do I Get My Ex Back After A Messy Breakup?

How do I get my ex back? Every now and then we face that question from heartbroken souls. Rekindling a relationship with an ex-partner can be a delicate and complex process, and success is never guaranteed. Breaking up is never easy, and when it happens under messy circumstances, the emotional toll can be particularly challenging to overcome. The aftermath of a tumultuous breakup often leaves individuals wondering if there’s a way to mend the broken pieces. In this blog, we’ll explore the delicate art of rebuilding a connection with an ex-partner after a messy breakup. that left both hearts bruised. 

From self-reflection to effective communication strategies, we’ll delve into the steps that can help pave the way. Remember, every relationship is unique, and the decision to pursue reconciliation should be made with thoughtfulness, respect, and a genuine commitment to positive change. Join us as we navigate the complexities of post-breakup dynamics and discover whether the journey back to each other is a path worth exploring. So here is the possible answer to your question – “How Do I Get My Ex Back?”

1. Reflect on the Breakup:

Understand the reasons for the breakup and reflect on the issues that led to the separation. Honest self-reflection is crucial to identify areas for personal growth and improvement. The initiative always begins with the identification of the reason for the breakup. Why did you break up with your partner? Identify the true reason for the breakup and pave a plan to deal with the issue. 

2. Give Both of You Space:

After breakup what to do? After a breakup, it’s essential to give both parties some space and time to heal. Rushing back into a relationship without addressing underlying issues can lead to the same problems resurfacing. Personally, I feel this is the worst time to initiate another relationship. Never consider taking breakup therapy from your next love interest.

3. Focus on Personal Growth:

Use the time apart to work on yourself. Focus on personal development, addressing any issues that may have contributed to the breakup. This could involve self-improvement, pursuing hobbies, or seeking therapy. Start a skill development course and give your undivided attention to it for the next six months. Add a few extra income streams with your existing ones. Concentrate on your study and your career. Just do something productive, you would not feel like a looser anymore.

4. Communicate Openly:

If you decide to reach out to your ex, communicate openly and honestly. Express your feelings and thoughts, but be mindful not to pressure or manipulate. Your attempt should not look like stalking. Don’t behave like a crepe. Discuss what went wrong in the past and how both of you can work on improving the relationship.

5. Apologize and Forgive:

If mistakes were made during the relationship, apologize sincerely. Similarly, be open to forgiving your ex for any past grievances. A foundation of understanding and forgiveness is essential for rebuilding trust. However, never blame yourself for the mistakes that you have not committed. Similarly, whenever it comes to forgiving then be generous but not a fool. 

6. Take It Slow:

Rebuilding a relationship takes time. Start by reconnecting on a friendship level. Rushing into things can lead to repeating past mistakes. Always remember, the decision of breakup can be a one-sided decision; but it always takes a mutual wish to rekindle a relationship. Take the time to rebuild trust and assess if the relationship is worth pursuing.

7. Show Consistency:

Demonstrate through your actions that positive changes have occurred. Consistency in your behavior is key. If you had trust issues in the past then learn to trust your partner. If you had anger management issues in the past then learn to control your anger. Words alone may not be enough; your actions should align with your intentions.

8. Seek Professional Help:

Consider couples therapy or counseling to work through past issues with the guidance of a neutral third party. Instead of friends and family, it is always better to hire a non-biased relationship therapist while navigating that tricky path. Professional help can provide valuable insights and communication strategies.

9. Be Prepared for All Outcomes:

Understand that reconciliation may not be possible, and both you and your ex may have moved on. Or your ex has moved on and really not looking forward to rekindling that relationship. Be prepared for the possibility that your efforts may not lead to getting back together. Always remember it’s always a mutual process and your own initiative has very little outcome.

10. Respect Their Decision:

If your ex is not interested in reconciling, respect their decision. Pushing too hard can create additional stress and damage any chance of rebuilding a friendship in the future. Getting back your ex as a romantic partner is always difficult. Meanwhile getting back your ex as a good friend is always quite possible. Be that person and move on with new hope.

It’s crucial to approach this process with sincerity, self-awareness, and a genuine desire for positive change. It requires careful reflection, personal growth, and sincere effort from both parties. While reconciliation is not guaranteed and may not be the right choice for everyone, still the journey to getting your ex back after a messy breakup is a  process worth trying. Remember that, ultimately, the decision to get back together lies with both individuals, and it’s important to prioritize the well-being of both parties involved. Finally, try and accept the result without any grudge. 

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6 Signs of A Toxic Relationship

signs of a toxic-relationship

Do you think, you are in a toxic relationship? Actually, I have been giving online counseling for many years now. During the course of my interaction, I have noticed an extreme level of depression among the members of the LGBTQ community. Therefore, talking about that issue became so important to me. In my quest, I lent an ear to the people that I meet through these sessions. On this article I am going to highlight few red flags that are the signs of a toxic relationship. 

Based on my study and hands-on experience of working with the community members, I have noticed I can offer my absolute non-judgmental listening and my compassion. As a result, I learn about an aspect of LGBTQ relationships. These are some of the signs of a toxic relationship that queer people should be wary of when entering a relationship.

1. Is your partner looking for someone of opposite sex?

Ans. Nobody wants to live in a hostile environment with the vulnerable minority. It’s evolutionary to seek “safety in numbers”. We understand your need for a devoted and faithful partner, though, you can’t have that “dream partner” when you are just an “experience” for them! In order to fit-into the society if your partner is looking for someone of the opposite sex then you are just a disposable item for them.

2. Is your partner already in a steady relationship?

Ans. I have noticed many married people are scouting online for that particular kind of “experience”. They start scouting especially when their initial glittering coating of “blissful married life” is worn-out from their marriages. Though you will be just an experience for them, still they would never be honest enough to admit their true intention to you. As a mater of fact, when you enter a relationship with these kinds of people, they would expect utmost love, attention, intimacy, faithfulness from you. In return, they are never going to give any of these to you.

Now, if you are in such a relationship where your partner is already in a steady relationship then definitely they are not going to sacrifice their social security for you. It may sound brutal, but these kinds of people would only enjoy your ‘offerings’ for them without making little to no effort. Under such circumstances, once that ‘honeymoon period’ is over you are not going to gain anything out of that relationship except pain. I’d say you’re destined for misery when you’re in an extra-marital relationship with someone who wants the ‘best of both worlds’! 

3. Do they easily blend into society without any second thought about you?

Ans. Your partner may fulfill all the conditions of the society to be seen as “normal”, and perhaps you do not enjoy the same social status. I have seen many queer people treating their closeted partners like sidekicks, while their partners are maintaining that relationship faithfully yet secretly. These kinds of people generally prefer to hide their partners in public as if their orientation is tattooed on their forehead.

4. Is your partner after a threesome fantasy?

Ans. On many occasions, men and women worldwide join online sites to fulfill threesome fantasies for a partner they are committed to. Those with some degree of maturity will make their intentions clear, and won’t disturb unwilling people unnecessarily. However, there are a few young heterosexual couple as well who don’t mention things on purpose.

I can remember one particular incident where a queer woman I know narrowly escaped a situation like this. It was sheer luck and presence of mind. She was lured by a woman at her flat. After arriving at the spot she realized she had been trapped and isolated, and there were two people waiting for her. Not something she agreed to. However, she managed to escape the bedroom and locked herself inside the bathroom. She could not call the police because the perpetrators threatened her to expose her sexual orientation at a time when Section 377 was still in effect. So, she called her friends and they came at once to rescue her. Watch out for such red flags!

5. Is your partner over cautious about their social image?

Ans. Is your partner not even ready to introduce you to his friends as a partner as if your sexual orientation is written all over on your face?

When a person doesn’t want to be seen with tomboys, butches, or femme men, watch out. They want to maintain dual slates; one for themselves and another for society. The second one is as ‘clean’ as the autumn sky.

Generally, they want to hide their sexual orientation, so desperately, that they become extremely paranoid. I am sure nobody would like to be treated as a ‘forbidden activity’. You don’t want to be with someone who is basically ashamed of your presence.

Start respecting yourself first and stay away from all those kinds of people who are causing you harm. Living alone is a far better choice than living in an abusive relationship and emotional abuse can be equally unbearable. 

6. Do you think they won't choose you over their family and society?

Ans. If any of the above-mentioned points are applicable to your relationship, then no matter how hard you try your partner will always play to the whims of their family and society. A person once clearly said to someone else, “As long as it’s about a physical relationship, I am okay with you. But whenever it comes to spending life together, then definitely I will settle with someone who is ‘normal’ like me. I want a ‘normal’ life.” These kinds of people would never choose you over society and family. Therefore, never ever get into such a relationship where you will never get treated with dignity.

These are the clear toxic signs of a relationship that not only applicable to the queer society rather everyone should be wary of. These issues needed to be addressed at the beginning. We have been giving online counseling to members of the LGBTQ community since February 2019. So far we have gathered many such mind-numbing stories of suffering and we will be sharing those stories on this platform along with relationship hacks. Apart from that, we will also give you much-needed opportunities for freelancing with our another platform Remote Owls

Our sincere request to you if you can relate to these toxic signs of a relationship topic then please like, share, and comment on the blog. Also, participate in our programs and also refer the platform to others. Let us make this initiative a great success. Always remember TOGETHER WE GATHER MORE!

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10 Major Signs Of Treatment-Resistant Depression

Major-Signs-Of-Treatment-Resistant-Depression

Depression is a pervasive mental health condition that affects millions worldwide, with a significant portion of individuals experiencing relief through therapy, medication, or a combination of both. However, for some, depression persists despite various treatment attempts, leading to what is known as treatment-resistant depression (TRD). In this blog, we’ll explore the ten major signs of Treatment-Resistant Depression, backed by compelling data, research findings, and poignant case studies, aiming to shed light on this complex and often misunderstood aspect of mental health.

What Is Treatment-Resistant Depression?

Treatment-Resistant Depression (TRD) refers to a condition where individuals diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) do not adequately respond to standard antidepressant treatments. Despite receiving appropriate doses of antidepressants for a sufficient duration, symptoms persist or return. TRD poses significant challenges in management, often leading to prolonged suffering and impaired functioning. 

Causes of TRD can vary and may include biological factors, such as genetic predisposition or neurochemical imbalances, as well as environmental factors, such as stress or trauma. Treatment options for TRD extend beyond conventional antidepressants and may involve alternative medications, psychotherapy modalities like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), or even experimental treatments like ketamine infusion therapy. Comprehensive evaluation and collaboration between patients and healthcare providers are essential to explore suitable interventions and improve outcomes for individuals grappling with TRD. 

10 Major Signs Of Treatment-Resistant Depression:

Persistent Symptoms Despite Treatment:

One of the hallmark signs of treatment-resistant depression is the persistence of depressive symptoms despite undergoing multiple treatment modalities, including psychotherapy, antidepressant medication, or other interventions. These symptoms may include persistent sadness, lack of interest in activities, changes in appetite or sleep, and feelings of hopelessness.

According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, approximately one-third of individuals with depression do not respond adequately to first-line antidepressant treatment, highlighting the prevalence of treatment resistance.

Recurrent Episodes of Depression:

Individuals with TRD often experience recurrent episodes of depression, characterized by periods of remission followed by relapse despite ongoing treatment efforts. This cyclic pattern of remission and recurrence can significantly impact the quality of life and functional impairment.

A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that individuals with TRD are more likely to experience recurrent depressive episodes compared to those who respond to treatment.

Severe Functional Impairment:

TRD is associated with severe and debilitating symptoms of depression, including persistent sadness, profound feelings of worthlessness, and suicidal ideation. These symptoms can significantly impair daily functioning, work performance, and interpersonal relationships.

Radhika (name changed), a young professional in her early 40s, struggled with TRD for years. She experiencing profound feelings of hopelessness and despair despite undergoing various treatment modalities. Her symptoms not only affected her work performance but also strained her relationships with family and friends.

Co-occurring Mental Health Disorders:

Individuals with TRD often have co-occurring mental health disorders, such as anxiety disorders, substance abuse disorders, or personality disorders. These comorbid conditions can complicate treatment outcomes and contribute to the severity and chronicity of depressive symptoms.

A study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that approximately 60-70% of individuals with TRD have at least one comorbid psychiatric disorder, underscoring the complexity of treatment management.

Poor Response to Multiple Antidepressants:

One of the defining features of TRD is a poor response to multiple trials of antidepressant medication, including different classes and combinations of medications. Despite adequate dosing and duration of treatment, individuals may experience minimal improvement in depressive symptoms or intolerable side effects.

A systematic review published in CNS Drugs found that approximately 30-40% of individuals with depression do not respond to two or more antidepressant trials, indicating the prevalence of treatment resistance.

Intolerance to Medication Side Effects:

Individuals with TRD may experience intolerable side effects from antidepressant medication, leading to treatment discontinuation or non-adherence. Common side effects may include weight gain, sexual dysfunction, gastrointestinal disturbances, or cognitive impairment.

David (name changed), a middle-aged man, experienced severe sexual dysfunction as a side effect of his antidepressant medication, leading to significant distress and reluctance to continue treatment despite ongoing depressive symptoms.

Resistance to Psychotherapy:

While psychotherapy is an essential component of depression treatment, individuals with TRD may exhibit resistance to traditional therapeutic approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or interpersonal therapy (IPT). This resistance may stem from deep-seated beliefs, interpersonal difficulties, or a lack of response to therapeutic interventions.

A meta-analysis published in Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics found that approximately 30-40% of individuals with depression do not respond to psychotherapy, highlighting the need for alternative treatment strategies.

Neurobiological Factors:

TRD is associated with various neurobiological factors that may contribute to treatment resistance, including alterations in neurotransmitter function, neuroendocrine dysregulation, and structural changes in the brain. These factors can impact the efficacy of antidepressant medications and psychotherapeutic interventions.

Neuroimaging studies have identified structural and functional abnormalities in brain regions implicated in mood regulation, such as the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and hippocampus, in individuals with TRD.

Medical Comorbidities and Treatment Interactions:

Individuals with TRD may have coexisting medical conditions, such as chronic pain, cardiovascular disease, or autoimmune disorders, which can complicate treatment outcomes and interact with antidepressant medications. Additionally, certain medications used to manage medical comorbidities may exacerbate depressive symptoms or interfere with antidepressant efficacy.

Sanjana (name changed), a middle-aged woman with TRD, struggled to find an effective treatment regimen due to interactions between her antidepressant medication and medications prescribed for her chronic pain condition. These interactions led to worsening depressive symptoms and treatment discontinuation.

Resistance to Augmentation Strategies:

In cases where initial treatment approaches are ineffective, augmentation strategies may be employed to enhance antidepressant efficacy. However, individuals with TRD may exhibit resistance to augmentation strategies, including the addition of lithium, antipsychotic medications, or other pharmacological agents.

A meta-analysis published in The American Journal of Psychiatry found that approximately 30-40% of individuals with TRD do not respond to augmentation strategies, highlighting the challenges in managing treatment-resistant depression.

Treatment-resistant depression is a complex and challenging condition characterized by persistent depressive symptoms despite multiple treatment attempts. By recognizing the signs and symptoms of TRD and understanding its underlying mechanisms, clinicians and individuals with depression can work together to explore alternative treatment options and improve outcomes. If you or someone you know is experiencing one or more afore mentioned signs of Treatment-Resistant Depression, it’s essential to seek professional mental health help and explore comprehensive treatment approaches tailored to individual needs.

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Why Affordable Legal Counseling For LGBTQ Community Is So Important?

Legal-Counseling-in-LGBTQ

Based on our experience, we have seen the legal counseling need among LGBTQ community members is very formidable. Based on that experience we have noticed the distress calls from LGBTQ community members are increasing day after day. Every week we receive at least 2 – 3 calls from the callers. These callers are seeking legal counseling and many of them have serious need of a legal counselor.

The members of the LGBTQ community experience different levels of abuse and trauma; that require special attention from legal counsel. The abuses of the LGBTQ community members include (but are not limited to) are as mentioned below: 

Emotional Abuse:

Members of the LGBTQ community in India often face emotional abuse manifested through rejection, discrimination, and isolation from family, friends, and society. We have observed that constant invalidation of their identities, ridicule, and derogatory remarks contribute to their emotional distress. Additionally, the lack of legal protection exacerbates their vulnerability. That emotional vulnerability leads to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. This pervasive emotional abuse undermines their sense of belonging. It also perpetuates a cycle of internalized shame and self-doubt. That constant self-doubt impedes their ability to live authentically and thrive.

Physical Abuse:

Physical abuse against the LGBTQ community in India includes acts of violence such as assault, rape, and corrective rape. Corrective rape is a form of forced physical relation aimed at “curing” their sexual orientation or gender identity. This abuse extends to forced marriages, honor killings, and conversion therapy. In reality, all of these can result in severe physical harm. Public attacks, including beatings and mob violence, are also prevalent, often fueled by prejudice and hatred. Moreover, authorities may turn a blind eye to these crimes, perpetuating a culture of impunity. These daily threats of physical harm create a constant state of fear and vulnerability for LGBTQ individuals, hindering their freedom and safety.

Sexual Harassment:

Members of the LGBTQ community in India encounter sexual harassment in various forms, including unwanted advances, groping, and verbal abuse. Workplace discrimination often takes the form of inappropriate comments, unwelcome touching, or the denial of job opportunities due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. Additionally, they face harassment in public spaces, such as streets and public transportation, where they may be subjected to catcalling, leering, and sexual assault. Fear of reprisal or further discrimination often silences victims, perpetuating a cycle of harassment and injustice that undermines their sense of safety and dignity in their day-to-day lives.

Economic Exploitation:

The LGBTQ community in India frequently experiences economic exploitation through workplace discrimination, unequal pay, and job insecurity. Many face barriers to employment due to prejudice, leading to limited job opportunities and lower wages compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Transgender individuals, in particular, often struggle to find stable employment and are relegated to low-paying, informal sectors of the economy. Moreover, they may face discrimination in accessing financial services such as loans and housing, further exacerbating their economic vulnerability. This systemic exploitation perpetuates cycles of poverty and marginalization within the LGBTQ community, hindering their economic stability and upward mobility.

How can you get our affordable legal services?

On many occasions, situations can get so out of control that only legal counseling from a seasoned lawyer can save someone’s life or reputation. This is the reason we have introduced our legal counseling platform One method would be addressing all the common questions via our YouTube Channel. On the other hand, the second method would be connecting you with affordable legal services. Here you would interact with the legal counselor directly via phone or online. 

Your identity would not be compromised and the beauty of that system is we don’t get to store any of your personal information. As of now, you can ask questions in two languages and these are English and Hindi. Presently, we are looking forward to supporting more diverse languages in the future. We are requesting you, please don’t contact us on behalf of ‘someone else’. A few ‘well-wishers’ out there try to abuse that service and create an unnecessary disturbance. Our request to all of them is, that legal counseling is a paid service. 

This is our platform and we can make it a success by spreading it like wildfire among LGBTQ community members. Our sincere request to you all please support the platform by raising your questions and queries. Apart from that, you can also promote the Smiling Rainbow LGBTQ Counseling platform among the members of the LGBTQ community. You can write your queries in to aimbee@smiling-rainbow.com or call 917890893166 to book an appointment. Please don’t send your query via social media or WhatsApp for legal counseling

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How Affordable Online Counseling For LGBTQ Can Make Difference?

Affordable Online Counseling for LGBTQ

Online counseling from a professional counselor can transform your life. If you are under psychotherapeutic medication then we would always advise you please visit a counselor as well. If you can’t visit a counselor in person then please go for an affordable online counseling session. The valuable psychological counseling of a counselor can change the outcome of your treatment and recovery process. It always ensures a speedy recovery.

Now, after reading all this information many questions may arise in your mind. You might be wondering why you should visit a counselor and when you should visit a counselor. Another common concern is privacy, for many societies seeking mental health help is still considered taboo. In the following section, we are going to address all those compelling issues that specifically justify virtual counseling as a beautiful option. 

Why should you seek online counseling?

Years of suffering can create a toxic environment in your mind. After a certain point, even minds also surrender and stop coping with it. Your body stops producing essential feel-good hormones including serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, etc. A psychiatrist restores that hormonal imbalance with medicines. Meanwhile, proper counseling helps your mind to throw up in the safest environment. A counselor helps you to speak and share your pain. It’s a highly efficient stress relief method. 

When should someone visit a psychological counselor?

There is no right time to visit a counselor. You can visit whenever you feel you need to talk. However, if you are taking psychiatric medicines then you must visit a psychological counselor. You can also take virtual counseling just to speed up your recovery process. Our sincere request to you, please don’t consider this online talking therapy session as a substitute for psychiatric treatment. We never encourage and recommend our callers to consider our accessible and affordable online counseling sessions as a substitute for clinical mental health treatment.

A Psychiatrist or A Counselor: Who is more valuable?

A  psychiatrist is a medical professional who treats your mental health issues with medicines. On the other hand, a counselor is a trained professional who treats your mental health issues through discussion or instead sharing your pain. To be more precise a psychotherapist would provide medicines to treat your mind and a psychologist would provide much-needed additional mental support and guidance. Therefore, if you need complete recovery from mental health issues then please choose both instead of either one. However, the best decision must be taken by a professional.

How would your privacy be guaranteed with a professional counselor?

A social worker counselor is always a safer option than a friend or a relative. A professional counselor is trained to help you without compromising your privacy. Many believe sharing the pain with friends, family, and relatives is the best method. However, a person who knows you and your family, that person is always a potential threat to your privacy, reputation, and in some cases to your life as well. 

Therefore, if privacy is your concern then a psychological counselor is your best option instead of some friends, relatives, family members, colleagues, neighbors, or anyone from your known circle. Your secret is always safe with a social counselor. For your valuable input please write to us: aimbee@smiling-rainbow.com and follow us on LinkedIn.